IN THE FALL OF 2009, I SPENT THREE MONTHS IN SWAZILAND - A SMALL, MOSTLY UNHEAD OF COUNTRY IN SOUTHERN AFICA.

SOME TENDER PLACES OF MY HEART HAVE BEEN HIT RECENTLY. ALWAYS FUN WHEN THAT HAPPENS. I’VE CRIED A LOT, MANY OF THOSE TEARS LONG OVERDUE FROM POWERING THROUGH FOR SO LONG.

“TRUST IS OUR GIFT BACK TO GOD, AND HE FINDS IT SO ENCHANTING THAT JESUS DIED FOR LOVE OF IT” — BRENNAN MANNING

AS WE’RE IN THE MIDST OF A GLOBAL CRISIS, NOT KNOWING WHEN THE END WILL BE, I’VE FOUND MYSELF SO EASILY LOST IN FEELING OUT OF CONTROL (BEING IN QUARANTINE SURE DOESN’T HELP). DURING THIS UNPRECEDENTED SEASON, JESUS HAS BEEN TEACHING ME A LOT ABOUT MYSELF AND WHO HE IS. HE’S REMINDING ME OF HOW POWERFUL WE ARE, IF ONLY WE’D RECOGNIZE WHERE OUR POWER COMES FROM. WHILE I BELIEVE HE IS THE SOURCE OF OUR POWER, HOW THAT POWER IS MANIFESTED IN AND THROUGH OUR LIVES IS BY OUR CHOICES.

I WISH I COULD SAY I'M A "MARY", BUT I'M NOT. I CARE MORE ABOUT MY TO-DO LISTS AND PERFORMANCE THAN I'D LIKE TO ADMIT. AND AT TIMES IT COMES AT THE COST OF PURSUING GOD'S PRESENCE AND TUNING INTO HIS SPIRIT.

AFTER DAVID WAS ANOINTED TO BE KING, HIS DESTINY DECLARED OVER HIM, HE FOUND HIMSELF IN SITUATIONS THAT SEEMED CONTRADICTORY, IF NOT DEFIANT, TO THE WORDS SPOKEN OVER HIM. NOT JUST FOR WEEKS OR MONTHS, BUT FOR YEARS. DECADES. AT FACE VALUE, HIS CIRCUMSTANCES WERE IN STARK OPPOSITION TO GOD’S PROMISES OVER HIS LIFE.

“IT IS NOT EHT CRITIC WHO COUNTS: NOT THE MAN WHO POINTS OUT HOW THE STRONG MAN STUMBLES OR WHERE THE DOER OF DEEDS COULD HAVE—DONE THEM BETTER. THE CREDIT BELONGS TO THE MAN WHO IS ACTUALLY IN THE ARENA, WHOSE FACE IS MARRED BY DUST AND SWEAT AND BLOOD, WHO STRIVES VALIANTLY, WHO ERRS AND COMES UP SHORT AGAIN AND AGAIN, BECAUSE THERE IS NO EFFORT WITHOUT ERROR OR SHORTCOMING, BUT WHO KNOWS THE GREAT ENTHUSIAMS, THE GREAT DEVOTIONS, WHO SPENDS HIMSELF IN A WORTHY CAUSE; WHO, AT BEST, KNOWS, IN THE END, THE TRIUMPH OF HIGH ACHIEVEMENT, AND WHO, AT THE WORST, IF HE FAILS, AT LEAST HE FAILS WHILE DARING GREATLY, SO THAT HIS PLACE SHALL NEVER BE WITH THOSE COLD AND TIMID SOULS WHO KNEW NEITHER VICTORY NOR DEFEAT.” - Theodore Roosevelt